F40.00 Agoraphobia: Classic Dad Hat
It's called a dad hat, but you don't need kids, a lawn, or strong opinions about thermostats to wear one. This 100% chino cotton twill cap is unstructured, low-profile, and adjustable — three things we wish we could say about our mental health. The curved visor blocks the sun. The embroidered F40.00 blocks the small talk.
Here's where it gets dangerous: 11 hat colors. 12 thread colors. That's 132 possible combinations. We'd tell you to pick one, but we know how decision-making goes when your brain is running custom firmware. Take your time. Change your mind. Change it again. That's not indecisiveness — that's a curated selection process. You'll land on the right one. Probably. Eventually.
F40.00 — Agoraphobia Unspecified. You do not hate the outside world you just do not trust what your body might do in it. Staying home feels safer than rolling the dice on panic in public. This is for the days when "leaving the house" feels like someone dared you to fight a dragon in sweatpants. The hat does not cure your fear of grocery store aisles or crowded trains, but it does make your safe radius a little cozier. If you make it outside, it comes with you like a tiny, wool security blanket.
Specs
- 100% chino cotton twill (Green Camo is 35% cotton twill / 65% polyester)
- Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile
- 6 embroidered eyelets
- 3 ⅛" (7.6 cm) crown
- Adjustable strap with antique buckle
- 11 hat colors × 12 thread colors — 132 combinations (good luck)
Size guide
| Inches | cm | |
|---|---|---|
| Head circumference | 20½ – 24⅜ | 52 – 62 |
| Visor length | 4¾ | 12 |
| Crown height | 3⅛ | 8 |
| Crown width | 7½ | 19 |
Embroidered to order. Adult sizing.
